Declan Rice ‘not normal’ as Granit Xhaka ‘BETTER’ at being ‘technically proficient’
Declan Rice is not as good as Granit Xhaka, apparently. Seems odd but it’s the interlull so people are writing some right sh*t.
Mediawatch
Manchester City punishments decided by unimpeachably neutral jury of Liverpool experts
The Manchester City verdict is in! (It isn’t.) The punishments have been decided! (By some Liverpool Echo journalists.) Plus Everton transfer news.
England and the ‘WAG-infested chaos’ that proves sexism is still rife in 2023
Seventeen years after 2006, the media is still obsessed with the WAGs (please) of 2006 and are putting words in the England manager’s mouth.
England embarrass themselves with 10-game unbeaten run that proves they’re no Brazil
England have gone 10 games unbeaten in 2023 and conceded just five goals. And they are over-reliant on their two world-class players. Embarrassing.
Manchester United ‘silence’ broken and Liverpool’s ‘special advantage’ in Mbappe chase revealed
There is a huge update and ‘more struggles’ for Manchester United, while Kylian Mbappe to Liverpool is very much back on thanks to their ‘special advantage’.
Man City ‘baffle’ by selling Cole Palmer to a mid-table rival amid ‘Chelsea’s aggressive transfer strategy’
A lot of nonsense is being said and written about Cole Palmer, who is really showing Pep Guardiola with his four penalties…
Ronaldo and Al-Nassr in next year’s Champions League? Obviously not, but clicks beat facts every time
Could Cristiano Ronaldo’s Al-Nassr really play in next season’s Champions League? Obviously not, but the Daily Star aren’t about to let that stop them.
Cole Palmer in the media: Street-fighter, Man Utd fan, almost Eden Hazard already
Cole Palmer is dominating the football media and Man City fans are supposed to be mad that the ‘street-fighter’ supported Man Utd.
Man Utd ‘dressing room admission’ as players ‘caught’ liking Erik ten Hag
Man Utd players not only like Erik ten Hag but know they are not scoring enough goals. And people think footballers are thick…
Man United rocked by stunning Ratcliffe takeover claim; Greenwood return next after ‘massive hint’
Sir Jim Ratcliffe will not buy a £1.3bn stake in Manchester United just to keep things as they are, with a ‘massive hint’ over Mason Greenwood’s return.
Man Utd ‘genius tactical switch’ lost in noise of Hojlund and Garnacho nonsense
Man Utd dominate the media again – of course – and now it turns out that the fans can spot Erik ten Hag ‘genius’ before the nonsense began.
Ten Hag and Manchester United up against it in Copenhagen as omens and feelings emerge all over the shop
Manchester United must overcome their own sticky form and the formidable record of a team that last won a Champions League home game seven years ago.
The media is loving Big Ange instead of evil Mikel Arteta after 4-1 Chelsea defeat
The media could not be happier with Ange Postecoglou, whose Tottenham side have somehow ’emerged stronger from a 4-1 defeat’.
Harry Kane masks his pain as he ‘suffers blow’ of STILL having six televisions in hotel
You might think that life in Germany was going rather well for Harry Kane; you would be wrong. He is suffering big style.
Man Utd latest: Erik ten Hag demands ‘showdowns’ as he ‘abstains from sensual pleasures’
There is some right nonsense being written about Erik ten Hag and Manchester United, including his ‘ascetic authoritarianism’ style.
Erik ten Hag sack prediction claims as six ‘most important’ Man Utd players named
Has Gary Neville said that ‘Ten Hag won’t last’? Has he balls. And the Manchester Evening News hit on a winning combination…
Shocking Ferdinand revelation over Manchester United’s failed Bellingham transfer will ‘enrage’ fans
Manchester United ITK Rio Ferdinand has heard from “a very good source” why Jude Bellingham turned them down in 2020. You, dear reader, will not believe it.
Inside Rashford’s ‘late-night antics’: pre-planned ‘intimate’ birthday party before training next morning
Man Utd fans could be annoyed and Erik ten Hag might be frustrated with Marcus Rashford not cancelling pre-planned birthday celebrations because of a loss.
‘Proud’ Neville makes Liverpool, Antony bias clear; obvious new Manchester United captain emerges
Gary Neville does not mind petulant Manchester United fouling at the end of big losses to bitter rivals, as long as it’s done by an academy kid at Liverpool
‘Showboating’ Liverpool slammed as Klopp told he can’t trust ‘back-up’ players or ‘£85m prima donna’
Liverpool made eight changes to their starting line-up and won 5-1, but Jurgen Klopp can’t trust his ‘showboating’ squad players, Darwin Nunez in particular.
Jude Bellingham to ruin Liverpool transfer plans as English fans ‘banned’ from watching him
Jude Bellingham is going to use his friendship to lure players to the biggest club in Europe rather than Liverpool. Can we watch that on UK TV?
Hypothetically shameful Man City fans should show gratitude for the stadium Sir Bobby secured them
Manchester City fans have Sir Bobby Charlton to thank for the Etihad Stadium, Andre Onana responds to messages, and Andrey Arshavin dons a disguise.
Manchester United in danger of ‘LOSING’ key man with crisis back on; Sky Sports ‘forced to apologise’
Manchester United are still in dire straits, even if Rasmus Hojlund is giving them exactly what they wanted. And ‘dreaming’ Spurs have received an apology.
Arsenal ‘risked the title race’ with David Raya call despite conceding fewer goals
Arsenal have conceded eight goals in nine games so it’s definitely David Raya’s fault if they don’t win the title…
Arsenal player gives Arteta ultimatum for ‘quick’ exit decision and ROBOT REFEREES are upon us
Aaron Ramsdale said nothing about a ‘quick move’ to boost his chances of making England’s Euros squad but Arsenal should apparently consider themselves told.
Jude Bellingham prompts salty ‘arrogance’ talk and ‘amateur’ accusations from Liverpool
Jude Bellingham has attracted the attentions of the right-wing GB News while Liverpool and Manchester both want a piece…
Real Madrid star may NEVER play in the Barclays but Ter Stegen and Zubimendi could…
Jude Bellingham being happy at one of the biggest clubs on earth causes head scratching in tabloid land, while there’s news of Tony Fernandes’ nipples.
Sheikh Jassim to buy Liverpool, Man Utd to buy Mbappe and other tabloid wet dreams
Should journalists be encouraging Sheikh Jassim to buy Liverpool and Manchester United to buy Kylian Mbappe? Sounds like self-interest…
Kylian Mbappe to Man Utd! A transfer tale in five months and 22 words
How a 22-word tweet in May about Kylian Mbappe and Man Utd became a big news story in October…
Manchester United double ‘risk’ emerges: Sancho sale could ‘upset’ teammate and Ronaldo furious
Manchester United are playing with fire this week, with one player potentially ‘upset’ by the sale of Jadon Sancho and another teasing Cristiano Ronaldo.
Man Utd: Hojlund is new Ronaldo as he ‘leaps to defence’ of Rashford in curious fashion
Rasmus Hojlund is Ronaldo and Marcus Rashford is Bruno Fernandes despite being in terrible form that prompts a ‘message’ from the Dane…
Klopp makes Salah admission that is not about Salah or an admission or even relevant
The Daily Mirror have either scaled new heights or plumbed new depths in the transfer story headline-writing game, depending on your point of view.
Shock ‘demand’ claim made over showdown between struggling Liverpool player and Klopp
‘Rumours of City’s demise have been greatly exaggerated,’ says the only person spreading them. And Klopp should not expect a furious Liverpool ‘demand’.