Arsenal v Man City in ‘tunnel bust-up’ nowhere near the actual tunnel
When is a tunnel bust-up not a tunnel bust-up? When it’s a minor scuffle nowhere near the tunnel at Arsenal…
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Klopp should be ’embarrassed’ by Liverpool – even after Manchester United mess was cleaned up
It’s a strange week to call Liverpool ‘dull’ but Jurgen Klopp ‘might even have felt embarrassed’ by his team. And Manchester United’s awfulness is laid bare.
Klopp ‘ridicule’ is down to rival ‘envy’ as Liverpool media translates German’s stupid replay ‘demand’
If you reckon Jurgen Klopp made a mistake in ‘demanding’ the Liverpool game with Spurs should be replayed, think again. The rival backlash is down to ‘envy’.
Tottenham v Liverpool COULD be replayed! But it definitely won’t be! And Becks sends a message
The Daily Mirror busies itself giving an awful lot of space to an EXCLUSIVE about the theoretical possibility of something they know isn’t happening.
Ten Hag ‘risks’ Klopp fury with Liverpool comments after binning Ronaldo for ‘criticising’ Man Utd
Manchester United manager Erik ten Hag has said that he has ‘trust’ in referees so obviously Jurgen Klopp and Liverpool will be absolutely furious with him.
Real cost of Liverpool VAR farce revealed as ‘furious’ Neville slams one fan
Liverpool had no choice but to have two players sent off and five others – including one coach – booked against Spurs. They were ‘backed into a corner’.
Klopp ‘fumes’ and Liverpool make ‘succession plan’ U-turn after removing Henderson from the premises
Liverpool, the ‘unstoppable’ machine that they are, have changed their minds again on how to replace the furious Klopp. Szoboszlai will catch Gerrard soon.
Dominik Szoboszlai is the ‘genetical freak’ who is matching Gerrard and Bellingham!
The Liverpool-based media is losing its mind over Dominik Szoboszlai. He’s the new Steven Gerrard and the ‘mirror image’ of Jude Bellingham.
‘Incomprehensible’ Liverpool transfer immediately comprehended by Bayern ‘hero’
Low tide in Mediawatch Bay this morning, sadly, with a routine Carabao win for Man United over Crystal Palace reserves no use to anyone.
Marcus Rashford AVAILABLE and Frank Lampard somehow vindicated despite desperate record
Only somebody who works for the Daily Mail would think Frank Lampard has somehow been vindicated by Chelsea’s form.
Mauricio Pochettino sack talk nonsense as he takes over from Ten Hag
Manchester United won so attention turns to Mauricio Pochettino, who was subject to sack calls (from Aston Villa fans)…
Onana nightmare continues as Manchester United man hits new low ‘just hours’ before Salah exposed
Things cannot get much worse for Andre Onana at Manchester United after he ‘dropped another clanger’, while Mo Salah’s successor had no shots or key passes.
Manchester United crisis: Four players ‘ignored’ Fernandes, Ten Hag blanks Onana, big Kane ‘error’
Manchester United have scored nine goals and conceded 14 so clearly should have signed Kane. But it’s alright because Hojlund ‘showed he could match’ him.
Ten Hag ‘all wrong’ about Liverpool, and Kane would have Man United in the title race but maybe not
The Echo try to crowbar Liverpool into a week when Manchester United are the only story in town, with limited success, plus some Harry Kane guff.
Erik ten Hag sack definitely ‘looming’ as three, six, NINE Man Utd issues revealed
Are Man Utd about to sack Erik ten Hag? Are they balls. But that’s the theme of the week as United are in crisis mode.
Man Utd paid £64m for 6/10 Hojlund and that’s ‘what they wanted’, apparently
The Rasmus Hojlund propaganda machine is flying now; apparently no goals or assists in defeats is what Manchester United wanted…
Greenwood given special Wing’s treatment as he is rescued from Man Utd ‘fear’ by ‘well-run’ Getafe
‘It would be wrong to conclude that it is all positivity’ for Mason Greenwood in Getafe, but honestly it sounds lovely. Mike Keegan sees only one problem.
Maguire slams Scotland fans, shares Manchester United ‘masterplan’ as England kickback continues
Harry Maguire has lashed out at Scotland and divulged his cunning plot to break into the Manchester United side. There are more ‘showdown talks’ for Ten Hag.
Liverpool youngster is the next Grealish *and* next Sterling, while Man Utd have a new Rooney and Ronaldo
It’s a great day for dubbing at the Daily Express as Liverpool find a New Sterling, while there’s breaking news about Saddam Hussein’s gold toilet.
Man Utd man is STILL English but Harvey Barnes prompts ire with possible ‘tartanisation’
Shockingly, Gareth Southgate did not close the England door to a 23-year-old, but one man is shouting at the clouds about Harvey Barnes.
Why Man Utd are justified in spending £72m on Europe’s 20th best young forward
That half-hour from new Man Utd striker Rasmus Hojlund really has made him a superstar; just ignore the price tag and the record.
Gazza helped Spurs beat Man Utd to £40m transfer; Ten Hag should fear Solskjaer and Rooney
The only reason Manchester United lost out to Tottenham in the £40million race to sign James Maddison this summer was obviously to do with Paul Gascoigne.
Jorge Vilda, Luis Rubiales and a shot at the ‘woke’ from a Times man with form
Jorge Vilda has been sacked for clapping, which sounds harsh until you do any kind of research, which is not Matthew Syed’s forte.
The truth about Jordan Henderson, Mo Salah and Saudi Arabia ‘talks’ as Liverpool resist
Mo Salah has asked Jordan Henderson how he is settling in Saudi Arabia so that’s pretty much that transfer done.
Jadon Sancho aside, Man Utd ‘future is bright’ after Hojlund assisted assist to non-goal
Manchester United fans might be feeling sorry for themselves but do they not realise that Rasmus Hojlund and Alejandro Garnacho have provided ‘good news’ despite 3-1 defeat.
Salah WILL definitely maybe leave Liverpool for Saudi Arabia if some other things also happen
Paul Merson is certain Mo Salah will definitely leave Liverpool, as long as you ignore the words he actually said, while Man United’s players are glum.
Ryan Gravenberch gets dream back-up shirt number as Salah loyalty bizarrely questioned
Ryan Gravenberch has always dreamed of wearing Jon Flanagan’s old Liverpool shirt while one writer gets confused about that Mo Salah transfer.
Jenni Hermoso commits sin of ‘laughing’ while Mason Greenwood could join ‘ramshackle giants’
Depressingly grim Jenni Hermoso stuff from the Telegraph, while The Sun identify some giants roaming in tiny, ramshackle leagues.
Man Utd to pay Mason Greenwood off to avoid ‘ramshackle selection’ of leagues?
Mason Greenwood could get a massive pay-off from Man Utd his week or join a club from a ‘ramshackle selection’ of leagues…
‘Impressive’ Alexander-Arnold praised for not sh*tting in soiled Liverpool shorts v Newcastle
No fair person could have seen Trent Alexander-Arnold struggle against Newcastle and used the words ‘impressive’ or ‘understated’. Enter the Liverpool Echo.
Mo Salah latest: ‘Strained’ Klopp relationship and Newcastle to blame for ‘fanciful speculation’
The relationship between Mo Salah and Jurgen Klopp is obviously ‘strained’, but Liverpool can blame pesky Newcastle for the recent ‘fanciful speculation’.
Liverpool man is two games in and already ‘best midfield buy of the summer’
This is Liverpool so this means more. Forget Sandro Tonali or James Maddison, Dominic Szoboszlai has been crowned after dominating Bournemouth.
Thin-skinned Ronaldo blocks Greenwood’s Saudi Arabia escape route over five-year feud
Something Mason Greenwood said about Ronaldo *five years ago* makes a Saudi Arabia move a ‘dead’ end, because of course it does.