Cole Palmer in the media: Street-fighter, Man Utd fan, almost Eden Hazard already

Cole Palmer is dominating the football media and Man City fans are supposed to be mad that the ‘street-fighter’ supported Man Utd.

Once a red, always a red
Tell us you are not really a football fan and don’t understand how football fans work without telling us you are not really a football fan and don’t understand how football fans work.

HE’S ROOINED ‘EM Cole Palmer breaks Man City hearts again as Chelsea star opens up on being lifelong Man Utd fan who idolised Rooney

The Sun have absolutely f***ed this.

Manchester City fans will actually be chuffed to bits that Palmer has revealed himself to be a Manchester United fan. It is far, far better to sell a young prospect who is not a City fan; the worst-case scenario is that he says he grew up idolising Shaun Goater and slept under a City duvet.

Rooney? Brilliant. Now City fans are free to despise him.

‘Cole Palmer has inflicted more pain on Man City after his late penalty for Chelsea’ says the caption.

Sorry but what a right load of bollocks. Man City fans might feel slightly irked that Palmer scored the penalty that left them taking just a draw from Stamford Bridge, but Mediawatch has checked and they are still actually top of the Premier League table. Life’s not that bad. And now the excellent news that Palmer is actually a Manchester United fan. Bonus.

And where one leads, others inevitably follow, with this in the Express:

Cole Palmer risks wrath of Man City supporters as Chelsea star makes revelation

The Express there, suggesting that City fans might be irate that the bit-part player they sold for a small fortune never supported them anyway. On the contrary, guys…halle-bloody-lujah.

READ: Man Utd ‘role model’ among ten stars who made brilliant transfer decisions this summer

The Expendable
Later in that Sun piece, by the way, is this well-worn nugget:

Guardiola’s insistence last week that he would never block a move for any of his City players has been treated with scepticism by Palmer’s own camp.

After all, in the summer Kyle Walker and Bernardo Silva were both denied moves.

That’s just not true, is it? Pep Guardiola has repeatedly spoken at length about how he does not block transfers for any of his players, but the prospective buying clubs have to pay the oft-inflated asking price. When it came to Cole Palmer, Chelsea paid the really rather large asking price.

Palmer was allowed to go because Guardiola believed him to be expendable and City wanted the hefty fee to help them with Financial Fair Play compliance.

Well he was ‘expendable’; City really are doing pretty bloody well without him. And with the excellent Walker and Silva. It’s almost like City and Guardiola have nailed this.

Listen, do you want to know a secret?
A separate piece in The Sun purports to bring even more Cole Palmer insight.

Secret Cole Palmer transfer clauses revealed including fee Chelsea will have to pay if star plays for England this week

Would they be the ‘secret Cole Palmer transfer clauses’ that were detailed when he signed for Chelsea, which total a massive £2.5m on top of the initial £40m? Those ‘secret Cole Palmer transfer clauses’?

But presumably The Sun will ‘reveal’ exactly how much Chelsea will have to pay if he steps out for England…

Should Palmer get on the pitch in either Group C game, SunSport understands Chelsea will have to give City a small additional payment.

But it will be a modest sum as the total of all the add-ons in the £40m deal was around £2.5m.

The rest of the fee is likely to be made up of Chelsea-related appearances, goals and trophy wins.

Oh FFS. So The Sun ‘understand’ that City included a standard clause about an international cap for a previously uncapped player but don’t know how much it is worth. Thanks for that.

But obviously that vagueness does not stop the chop-and-shoppers…

Man City set for Cole Palmer windfall as England clause in Chelsea transfer revealed

‘Windfall’ is excellent. Manchester City’s revenues total over £600m a year.

‘Cole Palmer has ‘secret’ contract clause that will force Chelsea to pay another fee if he plays for England’

A ‘secret’ clause sounds amazing but it really is absolutely standard. It would be genuinely weird if Manchester City sold England Under-21 international Palmer without an England-related add-on.

And just how will Chelsea cope with being ‘forced’ to pay an extra £1m (and that is a guess, not a REVEAL)?

Holding out for a hero
We’re not saying the Express are getting carried away about Cole Palmer but…

Palmer has rightly been heralded as the new star to arrive at Stamford Bridge after a storming start to his Chelsea career. He is yet to reach Eden Hazard or Gianfranco Zola levels of fandom, of course, but the 21-year-old is well on his way after taking a leading role in the west London club’s recent games.

‘Well on his way’ after 11 games in a Chelsea shirt. Eleven. And Chelsea are tenth. Behave.

The ultimate battle
Jack Gaughan has written an in-depth piece on Cole Palmer for the Daily Mail which Mediawatch very much enjoyed.

But my word has he been screwed by the MailOnline headline…

Cole Palmer was always destined for the grandest stage: Part street-fighter, part football genius, the United-supporting former Man City kid is flying at Chelsea

Four things:

* ‘Always destined for the grandest stage’ is an odd way to describe a player almost released by Manchester City five years ago.

* ‘There remains a street footballer within him’ does not make him a ‘street-fighter’, guys. Jean-Claude Van Damme, he ain’t.

* Why is the football media so obsessed with describing footballers as ‘street-fighters’?

* Gaughan never uses the word ‘genius’. Not even close. Stop being dicks.