Klopp should be ’embarrassed’ by Liverpool – even after Manchester United mess was cleaned up

It’s a strange week to call Liverpool ‘dull’ but Jurgen Klopp ‘might even have felt embarrassed’ by his team. And Manchester United’s awfulness is laid bare.

You’re the breast around
The Friday morning just after a full European schedule and shortly before an interesting weekend of Premier League fixtures culminating in a game between two of the title favourites, is it?

You wouldn’t know based on the top story of The Sun website:

Inside Kate Abdo’s rise from job at Greggs and kiss behind bins to host of CBS and joking about her breasts with pundits

And that is phenomenal. The idea that Abdo’s ‘rise’ has peaked with joking about her breasts is amazing but also entirely necessary, because of course they want part of their URL to be ‘kate-abdo-glam-life-thierry-henry-greggs-breasts/.

It is far from the biggest problem but that last bit reads like a typo and now Mediawatch wants a coffee and a bacon roll with ketchup. And Thierry Henry.

Little MISS
With headlines elsewhere on their home page such as this:

Premier League teams to MISS Champions League spot after Man Utd’s horror start

…there really is no need to scrape the bottom of the barrel in such a way.

Random capitalisation. Bad news for English teams. Not only a reference to Manchester United, but an opportunity to laugh at and blame them for something. That’s an awful lot of boxes ticked in one go.

Although with that said, one click into the above story and the headline becomes the rather less critical:

Premier League teams will MISS 5th Champions League spot as it stands after Man Utd’s horror start to the season

Already we have downgraded the absolute certainty of ‘Premier League teams to MISS Champions League spot’ to ‘Premier League teams to MISS Champions League spot’ if all eight English participants in European competition continue to be a bit rubbish. Which seems unlikely.

And that ‘as it stands’ immediately undermines pretty much the entire thing.

Even the first paragraph is a little misleading, as we are told that ‘PREMIER LEAGUE teams are set to lose a spot in next season’s Champions League thanks in part to Manchester United’s poor start to the European season,’ which is not true. That fifth Champions League spot has never been theirs to ‘lose’, after all; it comes into play for the first time next season.

But yes, ‘that extra slot comes with the condition of teams from England performing well in Europe THIS SEASON’. Moving past yet more Caps Lock-related issues, the two best-performing nations in terms of coefficient club points this campaign specifically will receive another Champions League qualification place in 2024/25.

The bad news for England is that they were 16th in the UEFA Association club coefficient rankings after this week’s Champions League games, when Arsenal but mainly Manchester United let everyone down and should be ashamed of themselves.

The bad news for The Sun is that more European games were played on Thursday evening and Aston Villa, Liverpool and West Ham all won, with Brighton drawing. And that one round of matches has seen England immediately leap up to eighth in the rankings.

England might ultimately fail to finish in the top two and miss out on that fifth Champions League qualification spot. But English teams are the favourites to win every European competition this season and two games into the group stages is far too early to speculate and doom-monger either way, funny as it is to pretend Manchester United might ruin it for everyone.

MMMKlopp
Liverpool are holding up their end of that particular European bargain with two wins from their opening couple of games. Not that you’d know if you only read Ken Lawrence’s match report in The Sun.

Jurgen Klopp apparently ‘looked less than amused’ with a routine 2-0 win. Hell, ‘amidst one of the most forgettable of European nights ever at Anfield he might even have felt embarrassed by how dull the whole affair was given his build – up to the game.’

Klopp praised his side in the programme notes, you see? The Liverpool manager called Liverpool “a team that I love”. Some ‘build-up’. Cue ’embarrassment’ at Liverpool then comfortably winning a European game after making nine changes to their starting line-up.

But the nine – change selection that never got better than humdrum was anything but lovable against the upwardly – mobile club in Belgian football and the country’s table – toppers.

What are you on about? And why can’t you use hyphens properly? Go away with your big weird hyphens.

Klopp ‘appeared to have sent his side to sleep’ with those programme notes, Lawrence says that Liverpool’s control over the game after half-time ‘increased but so also did the dullness’, ‘acceptable highlights’ are described as ‘few and far between’, Diogo Jota’s goal was ‘hardly something to love’ and there are two separate references to players being ‘Sunday League’ standard.

Good *lord* that is a miserable read. But Mediawatch does have sympathy: the poor bloke has been sent to go and write about a live game of football as part of his job; and his hyphen button clearly doesn’t work.

READ MORE: Klopp highlights midfielder’s ‘obvious talent’ after starring role in Europa League win

Defence of the day

And now it has begun. The demonisation of an iconic English football figure. The slow and gradual taking down of a bloke who had the audacity to sit in front of a paying crowd and say what he really feels.

There was some context, by the way. Keegan also said he thought some female pundits were better than the men. He then told a story about being nutmegged by a female England player during a training session during his time as national coach.

But by then the damage was done. Keegan’s secret was out and the insinuation in the reaction and the coverage is clear. He’s a misogynist. He’s a dinosaur. He may well be both of these things but his comments don’t necessarily tell us this.

Kevin Keegan will be very grateful for such a staunch rebuttal from Ian Ladyman of the Daily Mail. Between this and Joey Barton wading in, Keegan really is sitting pretty right now.

Kevin Keegan.

Ballon D’or winner 1978.

England manager.

He’s bang on. 👍

— Joey Barton (@Joey7Barton) October 5, 2023

Ward of the state
‘James Ward-Prowse breaks silence on England SNUB as he takes thinly-veiled dig at Three Lions aces’ – The Sun website.

The England squad was announced at Thursday lunchtime. Ward-Prowse played for West Ham on Thursday evening. He responded to the England SNUB at the earliest time of asking. That does not constitute a breaking of silence.

A star is born
‘Former Arsenal star hunted by police after failing to appear in court for third time’ – Daily Mirror website.

‘Ex-Arsenal star hunted by police after failing to show up at court for third time’ – Daily Star website.

Anthony Stokes’ entire Arsenal first-team career comprised a single minute in the third round of the 2006 League Cup.

Anti-Garth Crooks of the day
‘Perhaps it’s the shorter haircut or renewed self-belief about Jurgen Klopp allowing him to roam into midfield but 24-year-old Alexander-Arnold exudes a calm confidence at the moment’ – Joe Bernstein, Daily Mail.

Worst headline of the day
‘NO SANCHO YOU’ – The Sun website, on Manchester United players arriving to training. Us neither. If you have any idea, please do let us know.