Man Utd will finish bottom half in the Prem, Ten Hag should resign if he has any ‘pride and dignity’…

The Mailbox reckons Manchester United are destined to finish in the bottom half of the Premier League and Erik ten Hag should return to Ajax to rebuild his reputation…

Send your thoughts in to theeditor@football365.com.

A lot of praise has been heaped on Eddie Nketiah for his hat-trick against Sheffield United over the weekend, and fair play to him. He scored a couple of fantastic goals. The first and third in particular. However, let’s not get too carried away.

Sheffield United are just… well.. terrible. They’ve conceded something like 22 goals in their last 6 games. with 13 of those coming in just two games. Terrible.

I hope that this really kicks off Eddie’s Arsenal career as the main man but somehow I doubt it. This game just felt like one of those where any striker who would start up top would get a handful of goals. I still think Arsenal need a top draw striker to go on and win titles.

I look at the biggest Clubs in the world challenging for titles and wonder if Eddie walks into any of their starting 11. It doesn’t seem like it. Which makes me wonder whether he should be walking into Arsenal’s then? Not saying that we are title contenders, just that if we want to be, well… we should have someone better.
Malcolm (When do we start worrying about Spurs?), AFC

How Do You Solve A Problem Like Stewie?
What is Stewie Griffin?

Arsenal are second and unbeaten in the league. After 12 consecutive defeats, they finally beat Man City. The apprentice beats the master, Lego hair overcomes baldness, etc. This weekend their mercurial striker bags a great hat-trick, including a banger from 25 yards. He gives up the opportunity to grab a fourth, allowing his teammate to put away a penalty instead. Tomiyasu scores his first goal for the club. Ian Wright giggles on Match of the Day.

I’m an Arsenal fan so no doubt I am blinkered but I don’t get the ire Stewie consistently levels at this team. There are two way bigger targets for anger and disappointment in the Premier League: an omnishambles of a Chelsea team, who have been inexcusably cack for over a year, and the collection of misguided blundercocks masquerading as Manchester United. Kai Havertz (£65m) may not have set the Arsenal team alight but Hojlund (£72m), Sancho (£73m), Antony (£85m), Mudryk (£89m), Enzo Fernandez (£107m) and Caicedo (£115m) all cost more and have mostly just run around a bit. And sometimes not even that.

So what is Stewie Griffin? He’s clearly not an Arsenal fan because we’re all pretty pleased with our season so far, albeit early days. Most of us don’t even begrudge Spurs having a better start so long as it peters out eventually. He’s not a neutral because Chelsea and Man U are far more deserving of his wide-eyed frothy ranting than Arsenal. Maybe he is Spurs fan, but his claim last season that ‘Antonio Conte’s brilliance as a manager is going to expose the myth of Arteta’ was parodic nonsense even Daniel Levy wouldn’t normally stoop to.

Then it struck me. Embittered, weirdly obsessed with Arsenal’s alleged failings, makes up Gooners he has apparently spoken to, uses words incorrectly, like ‘caveated’, in an attempt to sound clever: Stewie Griffin is Garth Crooks.
Jonny

United to finish bottom half
So when doing my predictions for the so called ‘Top 6’ last time out in one of the other articles, I think I may need to adjust my answers on United finishing 7th. That is being too optimistic and kind really. At is rate, I think United will finish outside the Top 10, the level of chemistry, teamwork and quality of the team is shockingly bad.

How United went 30 games unbeaten at home last season and at the very start of this season is beyond me, it must have partly been a lot of luck as well as a mix of a few players (Rashford, De Gea, Shaw, Casemiro) carrying the team?

11 goals scored & 16 goals conceded in 10 league games, resulting in 5 losses. Everton have a better GD than United currently. Worrying, but not surprising given this is the gist of it and situation.

Ten Haag simply cannot manage and get the best out of the players available and was never up for the job in the first place. He is just waiting for the sack money now and should get sacked when United crash out the UCL group stage AGAIN.

If he departs this season, I don’t think any decent manager will want to come in for the challenge despite the level of money/budget they have available, all the players now come to United for monetary reasons, but I can’t say I blame them for doing so given the decision making is just terrible.

Its pretty deep from top to bottom for United, and very easy pointing the finger at only the manager. Ten Haag should head back to Ajax and restore some of this reputation and get his career back on track, still young as a manager.

If he had any pride & dignity as well as sending a quite strong message, he should resign, but when has that ever happened in the Premier League. He could technically do so, but I wasn’t born yesterday.

Its time to start supporting Stockport Town, United are a club I do not recognise anymore, a bit like a friend who has become an alcoholic and lost the plot.
Rami, Dubai

Still VERY funny
@Aidan, LFC….it’s still very VERY funny. Watching United crumble is poetic justice.

I love watching them lose and get thoroughly outplayed by Copenhagen even though they somehow won….’Copenhagen? Who are they?’, ‘EXACTLY!’.

One thing about United over the years is they somehow always seem to sign the biggest scumbags in football. Always. For years we had to listen to their fans run their mouth. For years we had to listen about that treble-winning United team.

The victors really do write history. People forget how Arsenal should have beaten them in that semi. They were the much better team and Bergkamp missed that late penalty. If my memory serves me correctly Arsenal also blew the league that year.

Then there was the CL. Juventus should have knocked them out and then Bayern absolutely battered them for 90 minutes and somehow lost.

I absolutely love reading their fans moan about every little thing now. Referees. They moan about REFEREES!! For 20 years under ‘Sir’ Alex they had most refs in their pocket and actually have the nerve to complain about decisions going City’s or whoever’s way. They are on the same footing as everyone else now and they just can’t take it. Laughable.

So in conclusion long may it continue because I am LOVING IT! I’m sure Kevin Keegan is too somewhere.
Alex (New York)

Yep, it’s still funny
I appreciate football fandom, especially online, is dominated by younger fans, but to anyone not enjoying the suffering of United, you are doing football wrong.

We had over 20 years of corrupt refs siding with United and Fergie. We had 20 years of United winning almost everything every year. We had decades of them cherry-picking the best players from rivals to enable their cake walks.

So no, I’m not done finding United struggling funny, in fact, I want it to continue for as long as possible. I am an Arsenal fan, and if I can’t find enjoyment in my club, I will find it in the suffering of my rivals.

Anyone who thinks of themselves as a Football Dalai Lama, let me remind you of the Buddhist doctrine that ‘all life is suffering’. United fans are just experiencing the footballing life we all had to endure from 1990-2010.
John Matrix AFC

Too many penalties
For a long time I’ve thought in game penalties are a bit boring, and they are largely given for fairly innocuous ‘fouls’. Penalties are typically scored around 75-80% of the time, so an almost certain goal, yet if a hopefully cross in to the box hits a hand, it’s a penalty. Frankly, the punishment doesn’t fit the crime.

They should introduce more indirect free kicks and penalties only given for denying an obvious goal scoring opportunity or a professional foul (both red card offences).

I believe there would be many benefits. 1. Players wouldn’t dive as much as winning an indirect free kick wouldn’t be worth it. 2. Games won’t be controversially decided on dodgy penalties. 3. Puts a greater skill on scoring goals. 4. Fans won’t constantly be scream for penalties and moaning about bias, and as such less abuse towards refs and players.

Considering the game has changed significantly in what constitutes a foul in the last 50 years or so, it makes sense to adapt the rules for penalties to reflect that.
Will

…Lots of complaints about City’s penalty, ranging from sour grapes to conspiracy theories.

Worth pointing out at this stage that if you remove the penalty, City still scored two more goals. I’ve checked my notes and United scored zero goals during the same 90 minutes (plus stoppage time).

Maths not my strong suit but it seems that City would still have won even without the penalty due to scoring more goals overall.
Alex

United = Ric Flair
Man United are like Ric Flair in the latter stages of his active wrestling career. Ric Flair had three (3) last matches – he couldn’t retire and accept that the magic had gone (he did 1 match cos he was skint though, to be fair).

It was sad to watch as in his prime and even a few years after that he still had it, love him or hate him. Same with Man United – the term ABU was created for a reason.

Man United don’t need another reset or another manager, they need to accept their place and adjust accordingly before rebuilding. Another round of spending on overpriced donkeys (Antony) is pointless – why not give Mount a full run in the side for example or blood some youngsters? Man United used to be the final boss – now they are the first boss you play while you figure out the controls.

As a leeds fan the post-Bielsa years were grim – a mixture of Marschball and other tactics using players proven to have overachieved. Farke is trying something new – phasing out the older players, new systems and younger players who know the championship and want to prove themselves. I know relegation helped us reach these lows but no club is too big for a re-think even if you lose a season in the process.

PS. I know Man United wont get relegated so just take the hit. 1 half season won’t harm
Tom

Late thoughts on United – City
Clearly, most people expected City to win – though I sort of hoped for a draw (I’m a Liverpool fan so couldn’t bring myself to hope for a Utd win).  Hoped for – but didn’t expect.

City were the usual dull machine.   They hadn’t been that effective recently, but didn’t need to be for this one.

It was a penalty, and the biggest criticism of the decision – that it happens in every game but usually isn’t given – is much more a (completely fair) criticism of the general standard and inconsistency of refereeing than an issue with this specific decision

Onana is a great Utd keeper (speaking as a Liverpool fan).  He was lucky that Haaland headed pretty much straight at him at first attempt, but that was never going to happen a 2nd time – so why did he repeat his abysmal positioning for the later almost identical opportunity that was scored.  He’s a worse stopper than de Gea and his distribution isn’t any better, so what was the point?

Evans and Maguire in defence – actually didn’t play badly for a mid-table/crisis club – but the fact that Utd have to rely on those two speaks volumes.  I never really bought into the Maguire-is-crap meme-fest – I think he isn’t a bad player, but not good enough to play for a regular top-6 team – so he’s fine for Utd (one of their better players at the moment).

Bruno Fernandes can be a great player (in terms of pure ability, anyway).  Over the years, when Utd played well he was usually central to it.  When things aren’t going well he is utterly, hilariously pathetic.  I have more mature cheese in my fridge and I genuinely don’t know how any manager can look at that toddler and think he’s the right man to lead.  McTominay was the closest thing to what a captain should be for Utd yesterday, but Megamind’s grumpy brother apparently doesn’t even want him at the club.

What happened to that really quite talented attacker Utd used to have – Rashfound or Rashfield or something? If he’s still at Utd they need to start playing him again, cos they guy they replaced him with is pants.

Antony is truly hilarious.  As pathetic and petulant as Fernandes but with a fraction of the ability.  As many bookings as touches on the ball yesterday and could easily have been sent off.  He’ll probably be their next captain when Fernandes throws a proper paddy.

As a Liverpool fan you’d think I would have enjoyed the game yesterday, but the reality is that with City having already had their blip for the season they’ll probably steamroller the league yet again – and I’m so bored of that.  The PL is basically the Bundesliga now. All hail Bayern City.
Andy (LFC)

Nketiah/Jesus are ‘good enough’
Of course an Nketiah hat trick prompted multiple friends of mine to proclaim that we cannot win a title with Jesus/Nketiah as our top options. This really is nonsense. Of course, a lot of this has to do with how teams used to be built.

Without going into insane detail, prior to Pep, basically every title-winning team had multiple strikers who could score a glut of goals (late-90s United being the best example, Chelsea 09-10 and City 12-13 were also impressive). Other than really those examples, it was rare for a title-winning team to score 80+ goals in a season.

That all obviously changed when Pep rolled around (also the striker has just died for multiple reasons). At first he had Aguero – supported by a young Sterling/Jesus/Sane and De Bruyne in his first Prem season.

Costa, on a better Chelsea team, matched Aguero and Chelsea won the title. Then Sterling and Co got older, City became a juggernaut and went back-to-back.

Then Covid came, Liverpool won the league (more on this later) with Firmino and Origi combining for 13 league goals. City, meanwhile, still scored 100 goals but seemed to be the inverse of Liverpool’s mentality monsters that season.

The year after, Liverpool had a down year, Aguero got injured and never replaced but no matter cause City still scored a pretty solid 82 goals with Gundogan being their top scorer in the league with 13.

Liverpool came back the next year – a monstrous Salah/Mane/Jota (none of whom actual strikers, btw) effort forcing City to score 96 goals with KDB leading the way in the league with 15. Again, no strikers except one Gabriel Jesus who was not playing striker. Then Pep, diabolical bastard that he is, brought Haaland to England.

Now, what does this have to do with Nketiah/Jesus? Well, first of all – the idea you need multiple or even 1 top-class striker has already been called into serious question in the last 5 years. It’s better to have one than not but you don’t need one per se as long as you score enough goals…which again DOES help when you have a top class striker. Everyone knows now you just need to score as many goals as possible – it doesn’t ultimately matter where they come from.

The real question is: how many goals is City going to score? The only time they’ve lost the league under Guardiola – and again this was a season in which Liverpool’s recognized strikers scored 13 league goals between them and 82 in total – less than both of Arsenal’s totals last season when City scored 90+ goals again like basically every other season they win the title (bar 20-21 when no one else was good, at all).

And again, 19-20 happened under very weird circumstances. They lost most all their close games including a bunch where they only scored 0 or 1 goal (keep in mind they still scored 100 that season). And then randomly 3-2 to Norwich and wolves apiece. That sounds like a team that fell apart in moments – like literally over the course of an entire season which I feel like I remember happening cause I took a lot of joy from it – while everyone was talking about the “Mentality Monsters”.

Everyone’s asking themselves the wrong question with this Eddie Nketiah / Jesus stuff. The question is can anyone outscore or just even come close to City and/or will or will they not f*** up in key moments this season. If City is just going to score 100 goals this season I don’t think a repeat of 19-20 is going to happen to anyone. And they get 90+ basically every year. And Haaland has arrived.

Someone is basically also going to have to get pretty close to 90 or ideally surpass it – like we did last year minus the whole downfall (or “bottling”, whatever – don’t think we shipped 11 goals in 4 matches while looking out of sorts defensively because of Nketiah/Jesus and, no, having to start Rob Holding had nothing to do with that either.) And City can’t go on one of those like 15 game runs like they did last year. And the year before. And a couple years before that.

Achieving the goals feat is only possible for the three obvious non-City contenders. The other part – not f***ing up – is only possible for two of those three. I don’t think Arsenal are – nowadays – any more prone to any sort of collapse than Liverpool are nowadays nor do I think Liverpool are better at scoring goals nowadays. Which is exactly why I’ve thought this whole time we’re both pretty evenly matched if one of us is going to beat City.

But again this pretty much all has to do with City, how Liverpool and Arsenal perform as teams and definitely not at all to do with Jesus/Nketiah.
MAW, LA Gooner (Losing Mahrez/Gundogan’s big game experience – not to mention the goals but those are more easily replaced – is to me the biggest chink in City’s current armor)