Fabio Carvalho and Mason Greenwood among unwanted Premier League loanees
We looked at loan players who might deserve a recall. But you know what’s more fun? Looking at those that really don’t.
The nice feature is here…
ARSENAL: Nuno Tavares (on loan at Nottingham Forest)
Started one Premier League game in which he made two goal-costing errors in the first 14 minutes, got booked in the 21st minute and then went off injured (torn pride?) in the 39th minute. He has not been seen since.
ASTON VILLA: Philippe Coutinho (on loan at Al-Duhail SC)
It’s not that he is playing badly in Qatar – three goals and an assist in six games is a credible return – but Qatar is just about exactly as far as Unai Emery and all Aston Villa fans would like Coutinho to reside away from Birmingham.
BOURNEMOUTH: Jaidon Anthony (on loan at Leeds United)
He actually endeared himself to the Cherries’ fans by appearing in the away end at Manchester City but there’s been little in his Leeds spell to suggest that they are missing him on the pitch, providing just one goal and finding himself playing just 12 minutes of their last two Championship wins.
BRENTFORD: N/A
Barring David Raya – who we suspect they would quite like to recall – there are only kids out on loan from the Bees.
BRIGHTON: N/A
As if. They’ve pretty much all been brilliant. Even Deniz Undav.
BURNLEY: Samuel Bastien (on loan at Kasimpasa)
After three cameo appearances, the midfielder made his first start, saw Fenerbahce go two goals ahead, and then was substituted after just over an hour. He has since been missing through injury.
CHELSEA: Hakim Ziyech (on loan at Galatasaray)
Yet to complete anywhere close to 90 minutes for the Turkish club and has claimed more yellow cards than either goals or assists. Last seen coming off after just 58 minutes of a defeat to Bayern Munich in the Champions League. Chelsea fans ever so slightly prefer Cole Palmer.
CRYSTAL PALACE: Luke Plange (on loan at Carlisle United)
One goal and no assists in 15 League One games as a striker. He has not been trusted to start since September.
Really don’t understand the point in Luke Plange, he’s toss.
— Jake (@cufcjake) October 30, 2023
EVERTON: Mason Holgate (on loan at Southampton)
Absolutely surplus to requirements in a Toffees world where Jarrad Branthwaite exists and is loved no more on the south coast, where he has started three Championship games the Saints have lost 5-0 and 2-1, and drawn 2-2.
FULHAM: Terence Kongolo (on loan at Rapid Vienna)
Has started one Austrian Bundesliga game and got himself sent off after 65 minutes. Neither Huddersfield nor Fulham fans would be surprised by this turn of events.
LIVERPOOL: Fabio Carvalho (on loan at RB Leipzig)
If the intention was to play more first-team football, it has backfired. He has started one Bundesliga game and is yet to offer any meaningful contribution in Germany. In hindsight, swapping a Europa League club for a Champions League club and expecting to play more football might have been an error of judgement.
LUTON TOWN: Allan Campbell (on loan at Millwall)
We’ll leave it to one of the more eloquent Millwall fans to explain…
I’m sorry but Allan Campbell is fucking wank #millwall
— Kier (@kiersomara) September 30, 2023
MANCHESTER CITY: Joao Cancelo (on loan at Barcelona)
“We didn’t play a good game and we have to do a self-evaluation, starting with me and all my teammates. Because I think it is unacceptable for a Barcelona player to play at this level. Like we did in the game against Sociedad.” They then lost to Shakhtar Donetsk. City will just keep Kyle Walker, thanks.
MANCHESTER UNITED: Mason Greenwood (on loan at Getafe)
Sticking his name in any headline generates clicks so we are never too far from nonsense about Greenwood returning but even if you ignore the pretty significant Other Stuff, there is nothing in his form to suggest he should be given another chance even on those terms. One La Liga goal in eight games, is it? Don’t be fooled by two goals in a 12-0 win over a team from the sixth level of Spanish football. He should never return. For all of the reasons.
NEWCASTLE UNITED: Ryan Fraser (on loan at Southampton)
A couple of late, late winners have endeared the wee Scot to Saints fans but the facts are that a) he has not started a game since September brought a string of four defeats and b) they have not lost since he has been restricted to the role of a substitute. Newcastle fans would quite like him to stay on the south coast, thanks.
NOTTINGHAM FOREST: Emmanuel Dennis (on loan at Basaksehir)
There are 12 senior Forest players out on loan – an inevitable consequence of having 427 players on your books – and not one of them would be welcomed back with wide arms. But particularly not Dennis, who has followed his rotten Forest spell with a record of seven games, zero goals and zero assists in Turkey.
SHEFFIELD UNITED: N/A
There are no first-team players on loan anywhere. They don’t have that luxury.
TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR: Tanguy Ndombele (on loan at Galatasaray)
‘FotoSpor explain that ‘many individuals and companies’ have applied to the Turkish Patent Office to register hamburgers under Ndombele’s name,’ report SportWitness. It is said that criticism from the Turkish media is now bordering on bullying of the French midfielder who has started just one game for Gala this season. They already want to send him back to Tottenham, who would then have to somehow find another patsy.
WEST HAM UNITED: N/A
Flynn Downes, Andy Irving and Nathan Trott are all doing rather well, thanks.
WOLVES: Goncalo Guedes (on loan at Benfica)
His Benfica coach has praised his tactical flexibility but that just means he has not scored any goals from the left wing, the right wing, up front or as a No. 10. Wolves fans might wish Daniel Podence was still at the club when Pedro Neto gets injured, but nobody misses Guedes.
