Pep Guardiola and Chelsea manager Mauricio Pochettino renewed their basketball rivalry in a game which somehow showed up Gareth Southgate more than anyone.
Spurs and Chelsea have a long and storied history of nonsense Barclays combat, but they’ve surely topped the lot with this absolutely absurd effort.
Arsenal’s unbeaten start to the Premier League season is over after a physical, bad-tempered and controversial 1-0 defeat at Newcastle.
Chelsea and Arsenal played out a 2-2 draw that will be remembered for things going wrong with outfield players’ hands and goalkeepers’ feet.
Arsenal beating Manchester City? In the Premier League? Is nothing sacred any more? A 12-match losing streak is no more.
Usually, 16 Conclusions is humorously far too many conclusions on one football game. Occasionally, though, it’s nowhere near enough.
Mikel Arteta must look further upfield if he wishes to strive for perfection in every Arsenal position; Spurs are a whole new entity under Ange Postecoglou.
Arsenal have Declan Rice and Gabriel Magalhaes to thank for their victory, but not Kai Havertz. Manchester United were fine but Erik ten Hag is a coward.
Jurgen Klopp has another of his Liverpool moments, but Trent Alexander-Arnold and Virgil van Dijk problems to sort. For Newcastle, that was unforgivable.
Spurs are definitely fun again, of that there can now be no doubt. But are they also possibly actually quite good again? Very possibly.
Chelsea have a new manager, Liverpool have a new midfield, but nothing anyone does can ever seemingly stop this fixture ending all square.
Internazionale provided a far greater obstacle than many expected but Manchester City and Pep Guardiola completed their Treble, with Ederson the hero.
Manchester City won the FA Cup final because John Stones and Ilkay Gundogan are incredible. Man Utd were not shamed but a few players must go this summer.
The 2022/23 Premier League season is no more, but it bowed out with another vintage slice of final-day Barclays.
Everton are safe by the tips of their fingers; Leicester and Leeds are down. Perhaps this time the alarm bells ringing around Goodison Park will be heard.
Manchester City put Real Madrid to the sword with a 4-0 UCL semi-final win that could have been even worse for the visitors. All hail the new overlords.
Arsenal were excellent as they climbed atop the Premier League table once more, but Chelsea were terrible and Frank Lampard is a managerial embarrassment.
Given where they’re at, Spurs have to get credit for fighting back from 2-0 down for a point against a good Man Utd team. But that defending…
This wasn’t the titanic title tussle that we were promised. Manchester City are too strong for any of that nonsense, as Arsenal found to their cost.
That was a simply wonderful game of football. But apparently 16 Conclusions needs more than that. So here’s more than that.
Liverpool and Man City are no longer quite on the same level. Klopp has presided over the decaying of this squad; Grealish is part of Guardiola’s evolution.
An utterly daft game that is beyond explanation. But Liverpool were exceptional and Man Utd showed Erik ten Hag has still not cured them of an awful trait.
Newcastle failed to turn up on the big day but Man Utd had the players and manager to handle the occasion. The Carabao Cup could be their perfect platform.
Man City figured things out and made Arsenal regret their complacency and mercy. Ruben Dias was every bit as good as Takehiro Tomiyasu and Gabriel were bad.
Harry Kane scored the only goal, which was his 200th in the Premier League, a record-breaking 267th for Spurs and also his first for Arsenal.
We knew it was going to be 0-0, it was 0-0, and we still committed to 16 Conclusions on Liverpool v Chelsea. Only ourselves to blame.
The Deloitte Money League for 2023 has been published, and the results tell a story of continuing Premier League dominance in European club football.
There’s a new favourite for the Premier League title after a one-sided North London derby. Hint: it’s not Tottenham…
The Manchester derby ended up going red, but while United ultimately deserved the points they needed a beneficial refereeing decision to get there.
That was less fun than the 6-2 win. But apparently that’s not even one conclusion, never mind 16, so here’s a further 2500 words about England 0-0 USA…